A Conversation With a Seminarian

As our congregation (Trinity Evangelical Lutheran Church, Taneytown) thinks about our connection to the formation of new pastors within the ELCA, I reached out to a current senior at the Lutheran Theological Seminary at Gettysburg (LTSG). Kesley Fitting-Snyder is a member of the final class to graduate from that institution before it merges with the Lutheran Theological Seminary at Philadelphia and is reformed into United Lutheran Seminary. What follows is an interview, email-exchange style, about her experiences as a newly forming pastor.

Cris: Can we start with you sharing some information about yourself and how you ended up at seminary? Particularly helpful would be any information you can share about how your education has been supported by family, congregation, synod, ELCA (or not).

Kelsey: I grew up in Lebanon, Pennsylvania and was baptized and nurtured in the faith at Holy Trinity Lutheran in Lebanon.  The pastor who was at the congregation retired from the congregation after being there for 35 years, and it sort of sent my church into crisis because so much of their identity was centered around him.  So as a little girl I never remember seeing a female clergy, I did not know that was even an option for women, because my church only ever had male pastors.  It wasn't until we had our second interim in that transition period that we had a female pastor and I experienced a female pastor for the first time.

About two weeks after pastor Julia Heart was there, I read a lesson in church, and after the service she asked me if I was thinking about going to seminary.  I was 16 years old, and didn't even know what she was talking about, to be honest.  I just sort of let it go in one ear and out the other.  A few months later she signed me up for a discernment retreat for high school students at Nawakwa.  She didn't tell me about it until she did it and my Nana paid the deposit so I felt like I couldn't say no.  I was really involved in my church growing up; sang in the choir, played in bell choir, did different aspects of service leadership etc.  

I had applied early decision to Susquehanna University during my senior year of high school, and intended on majoring in psychology.  The summer before I started college I went on a mission trip with some other Lutheran churches in Lebanon to West Virginia to do a Habitat for Humanity build.  While on the retreat, I led a devotion in the morning or led a prayer (something like that), and both pastors on the retreat that week (who only met me that week) asked if I was thinking about going to seminary.  That is when I really felt the Spirit take hold of me and understood that this call was something bigger.  I ended up having great conversations with both those pastors that week, so I started my first year at SU with the intention of starting seminary. 

While at Susquehanna I was really involved with religious life on campus.  I added a Religion major to my psychology major, and was part of a Pre-ministry group, Lutheran Student Movement, and handbells.  My sophomore through senior year I served as the Deacon of Worship and worked for the chaplain's office. There were three deacons at that time who all had different responsibilities.  Mine at the time was to help lead and plan worship on Sunday Mornings and lead a Tuesday night Bible study.  My college years were really formative for me in the faith.  Not that I didn't learn much in Sunday School and confirmation, but when I went through they were using the same materials they used 30 years ago. For me it was really exciting to be able to question my faith, challenge it, and talk about it in an open with others who were encountering the same thing. 

I have been blessed that throughout my seminary journey I have been supported.  It is humbling to know that so many people have walked this road with me.  My home congregation is not in the best financial shape, but they do have people who donate to a fund twice a year and that money really goes to help by books and stuff like that.  Around the holidays the choir places a can on the piano that says "Kelsey's Can" and people throw some of their spare change in over the weeks.  I also received a small amount from Zion Lutheran in Manheim.  They have a special benevolence fund that is for a seminary student in the synod.  My tuition is covered in full by the ELCA since I am a full Fund for Leader Recipient.  I am truly honored and blessed to have been given the award by the ELCA because it reminds me that as I am learning and pursuing my education, it is not just for me, but for the future of the church.  It helps give me incentive to continue to want to do my best. 

Cris: Can you tell us a little about your seminary experience? What surprised you? Challenged you? Favorite class and why?

Kelsey: I think of the biggest things that surprised me was that I was expecting people to be similar to me, or have taken similar paths to seminary such as I did.  I did not know that going right from college to seminary wasn't really the norm. It was at one time, but not anymore.  So it was surprising to me to walk into my first class and be in a room of people who came from a variety of backgrounds, and a variety of ages.  Everyone's different perspectives and experiences are brought into each class session, and we learn from each other in that way.  I guess I was not anticipating my leadership and my learning to be shaped so much by those around me, but looking back on it, it was those people that I was in class with all the time, and the professors who shaped who I am as future leader of the church. 

This brings me to my next point, on what was challenging for me. I had been affirmed in my call since I was young, and I knew seminary was where God was calling me next out of college, and even though I was a good student I still questioned my gifts. I compared myself a lot to my classmates, which sometimes is okay because it helps one to do better, but for me it wasn't helpful because I questioned my own strengths and abilities.  This was something that through time and experience I learned to overcome.  I have learned to look at people's gifts and lift them up because they are different than mine.  I think as seminarians being in a somewhat competitive environment we all go through this to an extent and a lot of us work through it during Clinical Pastoral Education, or on internship. 

I have had many favorite classes in seminary, but if I had to pick just one I would say that it was my thematics class Salvation: Salvations.  This class explored the Christian understanding of salvation, in comparison with some of the major and minor world religions.  This class challenged me in a good way to try and think theologically about what it means to be a Christian in a pluralistic society.  For my final project I did a curriculum that explored music and how music plays a role in expressing the understanding of salvation in Christianity, Judaism, and Islam.  

Cris: That’s an interesting point you make about class demographics. It seems to keeps sliding back and forth. I was “second career” (although my first career as stay-at-home-dad wasn’t an official career) and about half my class was as well. It seemed to be shifting back to a “younger crowd” in the classes that followed us. I hope it continues to be a diverse group of students because we all have gifts to bring to the conversation and vocation.

Do you think the “competitive environment,” which some moved past better than others in my experience, is involved in some of the struggles we are having as a greater church? In other words, we need to be more cooperative and collaborative if we’re going to succeed (in my humble opinion). Is the seminary process helping us see that and live into it? As you move from seminary into vocation, what is your perspective on the road ahead for the ELCA, in particular, and the church in general?

Kelsey: From what I understand the average age of Seminary is in the mid to low 30s but that is the least represented age group on campus so it makes it interesting. I have been working in the admissions office since I came back from internship and the way it is looking like for Gettysburg's campus of what is to become ULS those different demographics will stay. 

Yes I definitely think it is within the nature of the church to be competitive with one another especially when so many are just struggling to survive (which is an interesting metaphor for some in Seminary who are doing the same thing). I think the church has put up a facade for so long that we have forgotten what it means to be real with one other. We are afraid to be vulnerable and so we put a mask over everything.  Church is supposed to be that place in society that you can go to be authentically you, yet (from my experience growing up) it was the place you needed to seem perfect so that others didn't judge you.

I think that carries into Seminary and how we act as seminarians. When I stopped trying to be what I thought others wanted me to be, “holier than thou,” and just trusted myself it made a huge difference. I want to be able to be comfortable with who I am in ministry and be human so that those in my church can be as human as they need to be. Once we can get over ourselves I think that is when collaboration will really start taking shape and we can build up and edify one another. I think the ELCA in the future as a real great opportunity for partnership in many aspects of the word. One thing I am excited about is ecumenical partnerships.  We aren't the only mainline protestants who are struggling and I am excited to see where our ecumenical partnerships lead. My apologies for rambling, but that is how I feel about it.  

Cris: What is next for you? Assuming you’re in the regular assignment process, what kind of emotion does it carry as you think about “wrapping up” your education and moving out into a parish? What do you think will be some of your challenges and opportunities as you continue your leadership journey?

Kelsey: My husband and I will be entering the assignment process in February.  While we did not simply check the box “open to all,” we are open to going a lot of different places across the United States. [candidates for ordained ministry consider carefully where they think God is calling them to serve and provide that information to the ELCA leadership that assigns candidates to regions and synods] If I had to pick my ideal location it would be a place similar to Lincoln, NE.  What I mean by that is a small, yet growing city, passionate about solving the problems of poverty and injustice within the community.  As far as a kind of congregation, I am really open to all different kinds, for me it is about the people, and I want to guide and lead people who are passionate about sharing and living out the Gospel.  I don't know what I am capable of yet, because I have only had my internship experience, but I am trusting the Spirit in this process.  

I have many emotions when thinking about the end of my time in seminary.  I think prior to internship the thought of going out on my own would have been more terrifying than exciting. But now, having had that experience, I know that I am ready.  I know there will be challenges, no congregation is perfect, but looking back I know that I have been well prepared to go out and serve God's people. A challenge that I know I will face when beginning my first call, wherever it may be, is trusting myself.  I am the type of person who second guesses, even if I think I am making the right decision.  So it will be really important for me to trust in my training, and trust in the gifts that God has given me.  I am excited to meet new people and begin ministry.  

As the church is always reforming I am looking forward to being part of that process.  I think we are going to see more opportunities for connecting with our greater communities rather than being so focused within the walls of our own buildings.  There are many ways that we can do church together, and receive God's grace and mercy, and I am looking forward to exploring those many possibilities.

We pray for Kelsey, her husband, and all her classmates as they continue on the path to ministry within the church. You can learn more about the seminary by speaking with Pastor Cris or going to www.ltsg.edu or www.newschooloftheology.info.  

Thankfulness and Opportunity

I do not cease to give thanks for you as I remember you in my prayers. I pray that the God of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of glory, may give you a spirit of wisdom and revelation as you come to know him, so that, with the eyes of your heart enlightened, you may know what is the hope to which he has called you, what are the riches of his glorious inheritance among the saints, and what is the immeasurable greatness of his power for us who believe, according to the working of his great power. (Ephesians 1:16-19)

As I was reading that quote from Ephesians, I kept trying to stop sooner. But it just goes on and on saying important words to us as we continue this journey together. As we approach this month of Thanksgiving, I offer sincere thanks to all of you who are part of our community. Together we continue to seek God’s direction for how we will be faithful to our faithful God.

Remaining faithful to God doesn’t mean we remain static. As the world changes around us, we have to change to meet new challenges and opportunities (emphasis on opportunities). The greatness of God’s power will be at work as together we seek a way forward. And I will continue to give thanks for you as you join the conversation about how we do that.

In other words, change is coming. I’m not saying we’re going to become completely different from what we have been, but we have to adapt so we can continue to serve and witness to God’s love. The hardest part of change is not the change itself, but the anxiety over understanding the what and why. I would encourage you to ask when you don’t understand something that is happening.

I have no interest in upsetting the apple cart just for the chaos that it can cause. But there are some ways we can do better to fulfill God’s mission in this place - or even understanding what that mission is. So we will continue to embrace what God is doing to make things new in our work. Like...a different schedule for Advent.

Together we’ll enjoy the riches of God’s glorious inheritance and experience God’s power.

Continuing what I've learned

But as for you, continue in what you have learned and firmly believed, knowing from whom you learned it, and how from childhood you have known the sacred writings that are able to instruct you for salvation through faith in Christ Jesus. (2 Timothy 3:14-15)

This part of 2 Timothy is filled with admonishment and exhortation. The author is encouraging a young disciple (whose actual identity is probably less important than the words being shared) in life with God. It is a message that bears no small amount of law as it speaks to create right behavior and good works.

Notable in this section is where this encouragement begins. "But as for you" he begins. In contrast to those who are wicked (who are described previously in the letter, the receiver is given direction. And it's important to see where that encouragement starts. "But as for you..." keep on keepin' on. Continue in what you already know. Keep doing what you have learned since you were a child. And remember who taught you to do it. You have a heritage of faith on which to draw and depend, you simply have to do it.

It makes me think of those who have been a part of my journey of faith - and there are many:

• My grandfather, who sat with us every Sunday in church and was an example of quiet but steady faith.
• My mother, who taught me to recognize the brokenness that we live through and continue to seek God anyway.
• My father, who shows me how we can continue to grow at any point in our lives.
• My wife, who makes me remember that God is God, and I am not. And my kids who reinforce the point. :-) 
• My seminary professors, mentors, colleagues...

The list goes on and on. So many people have shared their faith with me in countless variations and styles. I can put all their words and actions up on a ledger against my own and see where I have failed to live up to what they expected of me. And I can see the ways we have all failed to live up to what God expects of us.

And then I remember the heart of what they've shared with me all these years isn't that I'm being judged for how I have failed. I have been, and always will be, offered the gift of unconditional grace. No matter how many times I mess it up and don't do it the right way, I can turn back to God and hear words of forgiveness - for me. Over and over again. Which is good. I need that.

Who is it that has taught you? Feel free to comment below, or simply use that question as a devotional theme this week. Give thanks to God for those teachers. Give thanks to God for what you have learned. Give thanks to God for the opportunity we are given to rise daily from the waters of baptism feeling clean and forgiven. 

Maybe it's time to take those words and promises we know, and tell them to a new generation. So they too can know the love that God has for us...always.

Thankful hearts and voices raise...

Hallelujah! I will give thanks to the Lord with my whole heart, in the assembly of the upright, in the congregation. Great are your works, O Lord, pondered by all who delight in them. (Psalm 111:1-2)

 Sometimes it's really hard to be thankful, and sometimes you can't help but sing and shout words of thanks for all that God has done. Life has a way of pushing us one way or the other. That's a rhythm we learn to accept. 

This week I am thankful for the Wednesday morning conversations we have been having about the Psalms and how they connect with our lives today. This ancient collection of poems and liturgical songs provides a window into our relationship with God as they express the ups and downs of life in ancient Israel, which really isn't that different than our own. The enemies and challenges carried different names and levels of complexity, but life has always been challenging on this side of Eden. 

The psalms describe God's work. They describe our need for God's care and concern to be present in our day to day struggles. They describe our anger when we feel abandoned and betrayed. They give voice to our feelings of brokenness and pain as we struggle to find a way through a world of hate and anger.

It's easy to get bogged down in the abandonment and betrayal; the anger and hate. It's easy to become jaded and perpetually focused on the negative realities we encounter so often. Psalm 111, quoted above, gives us another choice. We can come together in an "assembly of the upright." We can join our voices together in a song from our heart that expresses what we sometimes forget to keep in the center of our lives: that the works of God are great. 

Even if we don't know exactly how God is going to act or if God is going to work to change a current reality, we have the ability to fall back on the grace-filled reality that we are loved - unconditionally, without question, forever and always - loved by God. If for no other reason than that (and there are times when there might seem like no other reason), we can give thanks to God for that promise. 

Today I'll choose to say, "Hallelujah. Thank you." And the mere act of voicing it will move me beyond whatever I'm facing. Thanks be to God.

JESUS MAFA. Healing of the ten lepers, from Art in the Christian Tradition, a project of the Vanderbilt Divinity Library, Nashville, TN. http://diglib.library.vanderbilt.edu/act-imagelink.pl?RC=48295 [retrieved October 5, 2016].

Power and Cowardice

"For this reason I remind you to rekindle the gift of God that is within you through the laying on of my hands; for God did not give us a spirit of cowardice, but rather a spirit of power and of love and of self-discipline. (2 Timothy 1:6-7 NRSV)

What does a "spirit of power" mean for a Christian in today's world? As a world community we don't hold to a common understanding of power. Depending on your personal experiences and worldview, you may find comfort in the status quo of our current state of affairs...especially if you're a politician. For those who have been excluded from the benefits of a First World economy and cultural system, you may wish for a radically different way of seeing power exercised.

And no one wants to be a coward. It can lead to a court martial in the military. It can lead to disdain from co-workers and friends. No one likes someone who is cowardly. But who decides what is cowardly and what is powerful? Martin Luther King, Jr. is widely believed to have been a powerful influence on this country; an influence and ideal we are still trying to understand and enact. Some might call him cowardly for his belief in peaceful civil disobedience. 

Some of the seemingly most powerful people in the world are acting out of cowardice, afraid that if they were honest or vulnerable they would lose everything that mattered to them. They act the part of power, but are truly afraid. Their fear keeps us continuously in conflict and keeps peace in the realm of wish and hope. 

The Darkness at the Crucifixion, Gustave Doré

What does a "spirit of power" look like for us who are faithful Christians in today's world? It looks, metaphorically, the same as it did in the first century. It looks like a supremely powerful individual giving up that power to hang on a cross. The power that comes through love and self-discipline is one that gives away that power for someone else. 

I can think of nothing more cowardly than being a blustering bully looking only to gain more and more power, or someone who routinely lies and deceives for personal gain. And nothing less cowardly than becoming weak and powerless for the sake of the world. 

Holding on for the Plunge

Take a look at this picture. What do you see? You might focus on the intent stare on Owen's face as he tries to figure out what is happening and why his head is wet. You might see a hand ready to go back into the water to continue to enact the promise of God. You might see the witness of a sponsor - who remains in the background as we only see his shirt and arm.

You might see that, and indeed those are all elements of this occasion. I see two little, balled, baby fists; holding on for dear life. 

This was my first baptism as the pastor of Trinity Evangelical Lutheran Church. It happened outside of our ordinary worship services out of necessity, but God was still very present. It was a holy moment, as all baptisms are, and it is always a moment of great joy for me as a pastor to be a part of these moments of profound unqualified grace.

But the more I look at this picture, the more I am entranced by Owen's hands. He was a bit squirmy, not really comfortable with me holding him. Or maybe he just wanted to see what was happening. I didn't realize at the time that he was holding onto my sleeve so tightly. I knew his father's arm was nearby, but I couldn't see that he was also holding onto an extended finger.

What an incredibly important image for us to remember. God is acting in the water through the promise of the Word. God is present in the witness of the community. And God is present, in the support that comes from both the community (which I represent) and a parent. As Owen holds on to these two realities, he's ready for the plunge. He's ready for the cleansing water of God; as much as any of us are ready.

He held on. He was washed. He continues to hold on. And now our job is to keep him plunging daily into and out of the washing water of God's promise. 

Journeying with Jesus

Soon afterwards he went on through cities and villages, proclaiming and bringing the good news of the kingdom of God. The twelve were with him, as well as some women who had been cured of evil spirits and infirmities: Mary, called Magdalene, from whom seven demons had gone out, and Joanna, the wife of Herod's steward Chuza, and Susanna, and many others, who provided for them out of their resources. (Luke 8:1-3 NRSV)

This is the end of the Gospel reading for this coming Sunday. It follows the story of a woman expressing her love and thankfulness to Jesus by washing and anointing his feet. The story it follows is one of forgiveness, a story that expresses how deeply God’s forgiveness can be part of our lives. That forgiveness is connected, through the first part of this passage, to what Jesus was all about. Jesus was preaching and bringing the good news of the kingdom of God; and that kingdom is one of forgiveness.

This passage goes on to clarify that Jesus didn’t do this proclamation on his own. It wasn’t “him against the world” as he proclaimed God’s kingdom. True, it was all about him – in that he is the Son of God who creates the kingdom by his existence in the world. But the proclamation of the kingdom is never done alone. It is never done outside of a community. The disciples were with him, and some women were with him. Mary Magdalene (free of demons and not explicitly the woman just identified as a prostitute), Joanna, Susanna, and many others (many other women or maybe just many others which probably would have included other women) are traveling with Jesus, providing the resources necessary for the proclamation.

I didn’t start out thinking this was a stewardship message, but it turns out it is. And I’m not talking just about money. We have incredible resources among and within us to share in the proclamation of the kingdom. Each of us has gifts that we can bring to ministry. They may not feel like the right gifts, but they are God-given and God can use them for the good of the kingdom. Think about what your gifts are. Think about how you can provide for the proclamation as did those who followed Jesus. Think about what God is calling you to do to proclaim the kingdom today.

Paul's Authority in Galatians

It seems like periodically I'm going to try to start blogging regularly. Maybe it will stick this time. The context of my posts now will be similar to my deployment a few years ago. I write each week for the congregation I serve (Trinity Evangelical Lutheran, Taneytown, MD) and so I will share them here as well. They are meant to be reflective commentary on one of the upcoming Revised Common Lectionary Readings. I hope they are helpful for you in some way.

¹¹ For I want you to know, brothers and sisters, that the gospel that was proclaimed by me is not of human origin; ¹² for I did not receive it from a human source, nor was I taught it, but I received it through a revelation of Jesus Christ. (Galatians 1:11-12)

Saul's Conversion by Gustave Dore (http://www.gutenberg.org/
files/8710/8710-h/8710-h.htm#link095)

That’s quite a claim Paul makes! His words – the “gospel” he preaches – are not his own. They come from the revelation of Jesus Christ. Would that we all had that kind of revelation to help us know the mind of God. Would that we all clearly hear the gospel given to us with some authority and love.

Tangent: By the way, “gospel” means good news. “Gospel” refers to one of the accounts written to tell us the story of Jesus Christ, which contain (and are) the gospel: the good news of God’s love revealed for the world. It’s a fun word with a multi-layered meaning.

The challenge to hearing the gospel in its full, authoritative power – in my humble opinion – is that we too often hear the other gospel (“not that there is another gospel” - Gal 1:7). Too often, we hear our own understandings and ideas of what we’re supposed to do with the good news that God gives to us. The good news is that Christ “gave himself for our sins to set us free” (Gal 1:4). It’s good to be free, but we don’t always know what to do with our freedom. We’re stuck in our old ways that convince us that we have to earn our way into God’s love. We’re stuck in our old ways that speak a gospel that isn’t really a gospel as it makes us forget that God’s love is a gift – an act of grace that is free and without condition.

In a world that seems to live with the axiom that whoever yells loudest is right, I hope you find a way to hear the voice of God. It sometimes comes in the faintest of whispers in the most unexpected time. It is a voice that says you are loved. It’s a voice that says the good news is that Jesus Christ broke the bonds of sin and death for you. That’s what Paul wanted us to know. That’s good news for this week, and always.

God in the Darkness

For it is the God who said, "Let light shine out of darkness," who has shone in our hearts to give the light of the knowledge of the glory of God in the face of Jesus Christ (2 Corinthians 4:6 NRSV)

Yesterday morning a Middletown High School senior was killed in an auto accident on her way to school. I spent the day reflecting on that reality and I want to share a few thoughts.

First, I can't imagine what it must feel like as a member of her family to know that she is gone. They will hear many attempts at encouragement and support that mean well, but perhaps will fall far short of making them feel like they can cope with their grief. My hope is that they truly know the presence of God in the love that surrounds. My hope is that they know the promise that nothing, not even death, can separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus. On days like these, no matter how distant my connection to the grief, these words from the end of Romans 8 ring in my head. The words ring in my head, and yet my heart aches for their loss.

I have also been remembering my own experience as a young driver, on my way to school, when I drove my step-mother's Ford Escort into the back end of an 18 wheeler. But for the grace of God and the intelligence I had to always wear a seat belt, I WOULD NOT BE HERE. My three friends and I were very lucky to escape with one relatively minor injury, not that I'm minimizing those 52 stitches, Chris! :-) As I have seen images of the accident yesterday I have been painfully reminded of the sound of impact and the experience of seeing a mass of metal in the middle of the windshield. 

It is also with no small amount of fear and anxiety that I contemplate the ongoing journey of my own 16 year old with a learner's permit. I'm grateful for the state of Maryland that requires a lot more training than Pennsylvania did 25 years ago. I'm also grateful for my wife who will be the primary driving educator in the family (see paragraph above). While I trust him and know he will be a smart driver, I can't help but worry as he is still a teenager, and we all know how easily their minds can wander. Lord have mercy, this will be hard.

In the darkness of all my thoughts of the past 30 hours, I try to hold onto the light mentioned above in Paul's letter to the Corinthians. It is a struggle to know that terrible things like this accident happen in the world and to believe that there is a God of love who did not intervene. This world is broken, and we face things we would rather not face. Some days there is a blaring beacon of hope and sometimes it's only a glimmer of a small flame, but there is light in the darkness. The God we trust is one who went into the darkest of places. Our God went to a cross to show us that there is no place in which we can be lost. The sudden death of a young woman full of life doesn't change the reality of God's love. 

It may not seem like the "glory of God" today, but it is what I have. God's love shines in this valley despite our pain. May God's peace find its way into the hearts of all those who are standing in the dark today. 

Strength When Weary

Note: I started to write weekly while I was deployed, sharing some devotional thoughts about one of the Revised Lectionary Readings. I've decided to continue the exercise. I hope you find my musings helpful. They're not meant to be an in depth study of the reading, but simply some reflections on how I heard the reading today. Thanks for reading. I hope it touches your life in some way. Comments are always welcome.

Have you not known? Have you not heard? The LORD is the everlasting God, the Creator of the ends of the earth. He does not faint or grow weary; his understanding is unsearchable. He gives power to the faint, and strengthens the powerless. Even youths will faint and be weary, and the young will fall exhausted; but those who wait for the LORD shall renew their strength, they shall mount up with wings like eagles, they shall run and not be weary, they shall walk and not faint. (Isaiah 40:28-31 NRSV)

I have found myself looking for strength a lot lately. I've been home for just over three months and it has been a whirlwind of holidays, reconnecting, and...funerals. I know it's not as hard for me as it is for the families who have lost their loved ones, but it has been draining to bring a word of hope and promise over and over again in the midst of grief. 

As I've struggled with the losses of my own life, I have relied on the strength of a God who doesn't grow weary. God never fails to bring comfort and peace into my own journey. The moment my mom died I found a peace I still don't really understand, but was able to recognize. When I have felt myself growing weary and feeling faint, I know that God will find a way to bring me the strength I need. I can't imagine going on this journey without that strength renewing me and bearing me with wings like eagles. I can't imagine life any other way. 

And then I think of all those who haven't heard; all those who haven't known the love of our everlasting God. Many people haven't heard. Many people are trying to face their trials and pain without knowing that God is at work. I hope you've heard. And after you've heard, I hope you remember to share the news with someone else. 

Reaching For a Goal

Beloved, I do not consider that I have made it my own; but this one thing I do: forgetting what lies behind and straining forward to what lies ahead, I press on toward the goal for the prize of the heavenly call of God in Christ Jesus. (Philippians 3:13-14 NRS)

Many of us are very focused in our work. We have easily defined goals and tasks to accomplish and so it is easy to determine the best course of action to accomplish those goals. Many of us wish the rest of our lives would be so easy to quantify and define.

It’s easy to be pulled in directions we did not intend to go, or to be distracted from the purpose to which God has called us. We live in a world that puts out many ideas about what is most important, about what should be the priority in our life, about what is supposed to matter to us.

The challenge for us as Christians is to remember the purpose that truly matters - the one that God has given to us as disciples. That purpose isn’t well
respected by the world. However you think you are supposed to live out your life as a disciple probably puts you in conflict with the values of this world. It has always been that way.

Our culture has had an ebb and flow in its relationship to God and faith. That ebb and flow goes back to the founding events of Christianity and the first church. Many of Paul’s letters to early Christians were encouragement to hold fast to their understanding of faith in the midst of a world that didn’t accept what Christianity was teaching.

No matter what distracts or tempts us, Paul gives us words of encouragement that we can persevere and obtain the prize that God has offered to us. The prize is life with God and that is lived out as we remember the love that has claimed us and made us children of a loving and graceful God.

Forgetting is hard. Moving on can seem impossible. But nothing is impossible for the God who loves us.

Trying

The views reflected in this blog are my own and do not represent the views of the Department of Defense, the US Navy, Camp Lemonnier, or Combined Joint Task Force - Horn of Africa. In other words, if you don't like it, blame me not them.

I had the occasion recently to be in a conversation about what it means to be a Christian in the midst of all the chaos of this world. What I realized during the conversation is how much I am in the midst of the messiness. I’m not really surprised by that realization. I made the choice to serve in the US Navy because I knew that this world is a complicated reality and I wanted (needed) to do what I could to address that reality. It is important to me not to get stuck living in a theological exercise – an academic exploration of what it means to be Christian – and to actually live out my faith in a way that addresses real stuff. God is not simply something about which to talk and think. God is at work in a world that is truly messed up.

It’s not getting less messed up either. We’re at “war” – again. We've begun airstrikes against ISIS in support of a Middle East coalition to end a threat. Right there we run into the common problem – or should I say problems. This is where it gets messy. This is where the academic exercise ends. Because there simply aren't easy answers when we try to respond to what this world does to itself. I don’t consider myself a militarist. I don’t think violence solves the problem.

But I’m also a realist. I have been pondering Romans 12:18 a lot lately, “If it is possible, so far as it depends on you, live peaceably with all.” Scripture clearly suggests that the Kingdom of God is not about power and violence, but we don’t live within the fulfilled Kingdom. That little clause, “so far as it depends on you” carries a lot of weight. There is an acknowledgment that we can’t choose peace on our own. Someone else has to be at peace with us or we can’t live peaceably.

The other idea that is a constant companion comes from Stanley Hauerwas:

“you must be willing to watch innocent people suffer for your convictions. Of course, that’s true. In the hard cases, it means it’s not just your death, it’s watching other people die, whom you might have been able to defend. Now of course, you want to try to do everything you can that would prevent that alternative. But you may have to envision that.”

Trust me that I’m not taking this quote out of context. Hauerwas was speaking about how we respond to the violence of the world. I think I can live out “turn the other cheek” when it comes to myself, but I don’t think I can stand by and watch someone else suffer or die because I think it’s more important to stick to a theological ideal.

I’ll be the first to admit that the United States has made a lot of mistakes in how we've handled our role in the world. The messes that exist have our fingerprints on them, but they didn't start when we responded to 9/11 by starting two wars. The conflicts we are now working through have existed throughout recorded history. There aren't any easy answers.

Only the Sith deal in absolutes. If you think pacifism is the only answer, then I encourage you to step away from the theoretical realm and the comfort of your western life to spread the message of nonviolent response to Somali refugees, Iraqi Christians and non-Sunni Muslims, and anyone else who is facing the danger of genocide. We have to stop arguing about ideas that really only matter if they lead to actual change in the world. It may be that the nonviolent path of Jesus is right (assuming we understand it properly), but until you're "willing to pick up a weapon and stand a post" (to add a bit of irony in a Jack Nicholson voice), then all your rightness doesn't do a damn thing for threatened and dying innocents.

Homeless Children at a Day Shelter in Djibouti

I have been accused of defending imperial aggression. I assure you that I don’t think violence is the answer. But I am determined not to live in an academic exercise about what we wish the rest of the world would be. I'm going to give everything I have to make a difference - small though it may be. And right now, that means taking care of people whose job sucks on a daily basis, living among people whose lives are in constant danger because of poverty, malnutrition, and violent extremism. It’s not an academic exercise for me. It’s what I've been called to do. All I can do is try.

Supporting One Another

Welcome those who are weak in faith, but not for the purpose of quarreling over opinions...Who are you to pass judgment on servants of another? It is before their own lord that they stand or fall. And they will be upheld, for the Lord is able to make them stand. (Romans 14:1,4 NRSV)

It’s really easy to judge one another. It is something I have personally struggled with and it can be very unhealthy - both for you and for your relationships with others. It’s even easier to be judgmental when we hold strongly to the truth in which we claim to see what God has chosen and expects of the world.

Throughout the history of the church - the history of God’s people - not everyone has been on the same page; not everyone has had the same strength and clarity in understanding God’s truth and love. Some have struggled greatly with what God may be asking of them. Some (or many) turn away from God because they can’t find a way to allow God to be a part of their lives.

It’s always nice to be reminded that this isn't a new phenomenon. The struggles of the church today to connect aren't really new. In Paul’s letter to the Romans (quoted at left) it is clear that the church of that time wasn't unified and always in agreement. Christians of that time also struggled with faith and how to make it a central part of their lives. 

Paul tells the readers of his letter to “accept.” The “disputable matters” are not to be a source of conflict and disagreement. They were told to let God sort that out. We hear that reminder as well - that God is the master to which God’s servants will answer. 

We also hear words of encouragement. For those who are weak, the Lord will act. The Lord will “make them stand.” Even their weak faith will be enough. For us, we are asked to accept them into our community and learn with them. That’s even easier than judging. 

Binding and Loose-ing

Truly I tell you, whatever you bind on earth will be bound in heaven, and whatever you loose on earth will be loosed in heaven. Again, truly I tell you, if two of you agree on earth about anything you ask, it will be done for you by my Father in heaven. For where two or three are gathered in my name, I am there among them."  (Matthew 18:18-20 NRSV)

We are very good at tying ourselves into knots. We’re good at holding onto things that end up weighing us down, tying us to the past - or to things we really need to let go to be healthy and focused disciples of Christ.

The passage  at left comes as Jesus is speaking to his disciples about forgiveness and how they reconcile with one another. Forgiveness in any relationship is a real challenge. We are much better at holding on to our anger or pain than we are at telling someone they are forgiven and moving forward with them.

Jesus tells the disciples to do everything possible to bring forgiveness to a broken relationship and then makes it clear that God is involved in that forgiveness or continued brokenness. Whatever happens here is not far removed from heaven and God is involved. When we fail to find away to loose what needs to be loosed than we are denying the work of God - a work that was done to bring forgiveness to the world.

Jesus goes on to remind the disciples of his never ending presence. Wherever the disciples gather, God is among them. Whenever the disciples can find agreement, God will act. Of course we know that God doesn't always act the way we’d like or expect, but even in those circumstances, the reminder remains that God is with us - especially when we gather in a community of faith.

When Jesus talks about forgiveness, he is very clear that it happens between people who find a way to be in community together. We need one another to help us find forgiveness and restore relationships that have been broken.

We can tie ourselves up in knots over what has happened in our past, or we can loose one another for the work that God has placed in front of us - sharing the love and forgiveness of God to a world in need.

I don’t know about you, but I’d rather not be so tied to past brokenness that I can’t move as God has called me.

Stumbling Peter

And Peter took him aside and began to rebuke him, saying, "God forbid it, Lord! This must never happen to you." But he turned and said to Peter, "Get behind me, Satan! You are a stumbling block to me; for you are setting your mind not on divine things but on human things." -Matthew 16:22-23 (NRSV)

The words spoken in the verses from Matthew are part of a larger conversation happening between Jesus and his disciples. As is often the case the disciples simply don’t understand what is going on - the greater picture of what God intends to do in the life, death, and resurrection of Christ.

When questions arise for the disciples it is usually Peter who gives those questions voice. Peter is the one who puts himself out there for good or ill. He was the one who stepped out of the boat. He was the one who tried to interpret the transfiguration. And in this passage, he is the one who doubts - who questions Jesus’ pronouncement that his journey is one that leads to the cross.

Peter is so helpful for us because he provides a way for us to enter into the story of Christ and the cross. His voice is so often the one that raises the same questions we may be afraid to ask. His response to what is happening is so often the way we respond - often exactly the way we respond. He fights. He flees. He denies. He questions. Sometimes he gets it right.

In the passage at left his question comes in the form of a denial that Christ might be something other than he (Peter) expects him to be. All that Jesus says about what will happen challenges what Peter thinks so he responds with denial, saying that “shall never happen.”

We often respond the same way. We expect God to do what we expect and what we think we need. Jesus’ response to Peter teaches us what we have to remember about God. God doesn't think the same way we do. We always come to God with our own perceptions and concerns. They aren't the same as God’s. Our concerns don’t set the path God takes, but instead are sometimes a stumbling block for us.

When we try to fit God onto our path - into our plan and expectations - we stumble. We don’t leave room for what God is really going to do. Thankfully, God does it anyway and the power of Satan and death is broken. That’s good news. That’s what God does despite our failure and doubt.

Community in Christ

 For as in one body we have many members, and not all the members have the same function, so we, who are many, are one body in Christ, and individually we are members one of another. (Rom 12:4-5 NRSV)

Perhaps more than any other expression of God’s church, a military chapel community represents the diversity of faith contained in unity with Christ. Each week we come together for worship as Christians from a diverse background, with a diverse set of experiences. 

There are several challenges that come with this diversity. We don’t all understand the gospel in the same way. In each of our faith journeys God has spoken to us in different ways, calling us to understand specific passages differently. 

In our specific community here at CLDJ, we have the added element of constant change. Some of us are here for four months or less, others are here for almost a year, and still others have been here for multiple years. 

In reality, this level of diversity is both a challenge and a blessing. Sometimes we are challenged by understandings of faith that run counter to how we have personally experienced God and God’s Word. These challenges to our own faith can make us nervous and uncertain. They can make us question parts of our faith that we never thought we would question.

But those questions can be a blessing. Those questions can be the way that God chooses to move us along our faith journey toward a deeper understanding of how God is acting in our lives. Anselm, an 11th century monk, coined the phrase, “faith seeking understanding” as a way to describe the journey that we are travelling. We support one another on that journey as we bring new perspectives together into a community that can explore deep questions. We live and work in a desert that can seem harsh and lacking life. But it does not have to be a lifeless time in your faith journey. You can use this time to seek a new kind of nourishment for your faith as you experience and grow through the diversity we bring to one another. Through that diversity, we remember that we are one body gathered around the cross.

Where is Justice?

Note: After a break for my R&R, I return to Djibouti and my weekly reflections. 

This is what the LORD says: “Maintain justice and do what is right, for my  salvation is close at hand and my  righteousness will soon be revealed.-Isaiah 56:1

Isaiah’s words at the left offer a really straightforward command to us. “Maintain justice and do what is right…” The challenge is finding a way to do that when all around you seems to conflict with these words of encouragement.

They are words of hope and promise as we remember that maintaining justice and doing what is right is possible because of God’s salvation - a salvation that is very close to us. But that promise can be forgotten when all we see is so much injustice and wrongness.

I admit that I don’t follow the news really closely. Sometimes it’s hard to follow when there seems to be no sign of any good news. Often the problem is finding a reliable news source that I trust. All the news outlets are accused of having one bias or another and it becomes difficult to find the truth in what is being reported.

Even when you only pay attention to the headlines (you can usually find at least a hint of unbiased truth by just reading that much), there is more than enough injustice to go around:

• Ethnic violence in Africa
• Violent extremism in all parts of the Middle East and elsewhere
• Religion based persecution in Iraq
• Race based conflict in the heart of the US

The list can go on and on. We live in a world that struggles to find justice. In the midst of that reality we, as Christians, are called to maintain justice and do what is right. We are told not to be conformed “to the pattern of this world” (Romans 12:2)  so we can’t be sucked into the injustice we face every day.

Whatever your news source, look for the injustice in what you read and figure out how you are personally going to stand against it. Look around you in your daily work and find ways to seek the justice that the world can’t seem to find.

God’s righteousness will be revealed as we do what is right. The world needs us to do it.

An Undivided Heart

Teach me your way, O LORD, and I will walk in your truth; give me an undivided heart to revere your name. I will thank you, O Lord my God, with all my heart, and glorify your name forevermore. For great is your love toward me; you have delivered me from the pit of death. -Psalm 86:11-14

The psalmist’s prayer at left is a powerful prayer of hope and thanksgiving, with just a touch of desperation mixed in. Whenever you need the words to pray - when your own words simply don’t seem like enough (although God doesn't need special language to hear our prayers) - the psalms are always a good place to turn. 

These few verses accomplish a lot and give us a grounding for our faith. It begins with a request. God, teach me how to follow. Help me worship you. There’s an acknowledgment in these words that we don’t know how to love or follow God without being shown what it means to do so. We can’t find our way to God, we need God to find us and teach us the way we are to go. 

The response to being shown the way is praise and thanksgiving. "With all [our] heart" we give God thanks for what has been done for us and for what God has shown to us. It seems like a simple response, but it asks much of us. It’s not easy for us to give all of our heart to anything or anyone. Think about all the ways we make other things more important than God; and I’m not just talking about coming to worship on Sunday. We have the opportunity to glorify God with every waking breath but we struggle to do that. Sometimes we struggle to find even one breath to worship and give God thanks.

And that’s when what God has done becomes so central to who we are. In the final verse, we are reminded that it is not through our own efforts that we accomplish anything that we are asked to do. It is because of God’s great love (other translations use steadfast) that we are delivered from the pit of death; from the consequences of our actions and in-actions. 

God always acts to draw us into God’s way and God’s truth. God’s constant, unchanging love is always working in our hearts to make us into what God has called us to be. That is a blessing to lives that often feel divided and difficult. God’s love is steadfast. God is faithful to us, even when we fail. For that we give God thanks.

Effective Word(s)

For as the rain and the snow come down from heaven, and do not return there until they have watered the earth, making it bring forth and sprout, giving seed to the sower and bread to the eater, so shall my word be that goes out from my mouth; it shall not return to me empty, but it shall accomplish that which I purpose, and succeed in the thing for which I sent it. (Isaiah 55:10-11 NRSV)

God speaks and things happen. That’s the way it has always been. From the beginning of the story, God makes things happen simply by saying a word.

Through the prophet Isaiah God reminds the people of Israel that the purposes of God will be accomplished. People are changed; the world is changed when God speaks to and through God’s people. Are we taking time to listen?

We live in a world where words have a lot of power. Truth is sometimes irrelevant. Compassion is often non-existent. People use words to change the world into what they want it to be. They use words filled with hate and anger with little thought of the consequences of what they are saying. “Sticks and stones will break my bones but words will never hurt me” is a myth. Words have power. Our words can be used to dominate and  intimidate. Far too often our words are used to break down individuals and groups.

What if we used words full of compassion and empathy instead? What if we spoke to our brothers and sisters with words of love and hope and peace? What if we spoke to people with the Word of God in our hearts and on our minds as we try to exert a different kind of influence?

The message God gives us through Isaiah is clear. God’s Word accomplishes what God wants it to do. God’s Word goes forth and nourishes the one who speaks and the one who hears. We are good at accomplishing our purposes when we speak. If we speak words of hate, we create hate. If we speak words of anger, we make people angry. If we speak words of mistrust, we create mistrust. If we speak words of love, on the other hand, well I think you get the point.

God spoke and the world was created. God spoke and the people of Israel were freed from slavery. God proclaimed “It is finished” on a cross and we were made free from sin and death so we could be Children of God and could be God’s voice in a world filled with desperate need. Are you listening?

Freedom and Righteousness

But thanks be to God that you, having once been slaves of sin, have become obedient from the heart to the form of teaching to which you were entrusted, and that you, having been set free from sin, have become slaves of righteousness. (Romans 6:17-18 NRSV)

Paul’s passage to the Romans above includes a couple of tough words for us to deal with. Cultural context for the concept of slavery means we have a hard time using it in any constructive ways. Slavery is something to be opposed according to our understanding of history (and rightly so).

Except, in this passage, Paul reminds us that we are slaves. We might not be slaves to sin, but we are slaves to righteousness. And that probably doesn't sound right to you. We don’t want to be slaves. We want to be free. We celebrate the fact that we are free from sin, but we have to acknowledge the other side of that equation. If/when we are set free from sin, it is only so we can be free for righteousness. Nothing that we are or have is for our own enjoyment or purpose. It is always for God’s purpose and for the bringing of God’s Kingdom. So we are still slaves - but it is a slavery to joy and righteousness.

Then there’s that word, “righteous.” The only way it seems to be used today is with “self-” on the front of it. Far too many people are focused on their own righteousness at the expense of others. Instead, perhaps we can remember that Paul also said we are all convicted and in need of God’s grace. That “righteousness” we claim is not from anything we have accomplished or for our own benefit. It is God’s gift of right relationship so we can bring the world back to God.

Martin Luther described our life of righteousness this way, “A Christian is a perfectly free lord of all, subject to none. A Christian is a perfectly dutiful servant of all, subject of all, subject to all.” (Freedom of a Christian) Perhaps you can better relate to the word servant. Perhaps not. But it is an appropriate description of our life of righteousness. We are free from sin so that we are able to serve the world. We are free from our sin so that we can be a slave to God. I don’t like the word slave, but if it means I’m in right relationship with God, I’ll take it.