A Conversation With a Seminarian

As our congregation (Trinity Evangelical Lutheran Church, Taneytown) thinks about our connection to the formation of new pastors within the ELCA, I reached out to a current senior at the Lutheran Theological Seminary at Gettysburg (LTSG). Kesley Fitting-Snyder is a member of the final class to graduate from that institution before it merges with the Lutheran Theological Seminary at Philadelphia and is reformed into United Lutheran Seminary. What follows is an interview, email-exchange style, about her experiences as a newly forming pastor.

Cris: Can we start with you sharing some information about yourself and how you ended up at seminary? Particularly helpful would be any information you can share about how your education has been supported by family, congregation, synod, ELCA (or not).

Kelsey: I grew up in Lebanon, Pennsylvania and was baptized and nurtured in the faith at Holy Trinity Lutheran in Lebanon.  The pastor who was at the congregation retired from the congregation after being there for 35 years, and it sort of sent my church into crisis because so much of their identity was centered around him.  So as a little girl I never remember seeing a female clergy, I did not know that was even an option for women, because my church only ever had male pastors.  It wasn't until we had our second interim in that transition period that we had a female pastor and I experienced a female pastor for the first time.

About two weeks after pastor Julia Heart was there, I read a lesson in church, and after the service she asked me if I was thinking about going to seminary.  I was 16 years old, and didn't even know what she was talking about, to be honest.  I just sort of let it go in one ear and out the other.  A few months later she signed me up for a discernment retreat for high school students at Nawakwa.  She didn't tell me about it until she did it and my Nana paid the deposit so I felt like I couldn't say no.  I was really involved in my church growing up; sang in the choir, played in bell choir, did different aspects of service leadership etc.  

I had applied early decision to Susquehanna University during my senior year of high school, and intended on majoring in psychology.  The summer before I started college I went on a mission trip with some other Lutheran churches in Lebanon to West Virginia to do a Habitat for Humanity build.  While on the retreat, I led a devotion in the morning or led a prayer (something like that), and both pastors on the retreat that week (who only met me that week) asked if I was thinking about going to seminary.  That is when I really felt the Spirit take hold of me and understood that this call was something bigger.  I ended up having great conversations with both those pastors that week, so I started my first year at SU with the intention of starting seminary. 

While at Susquehanna I was really involved with religious life on campus.  I added a Religion major to my psychology major, and was part of a Pre-ministry group, Lutheran Student Movement, and handbells.  My sophomore through senior year I served as the Deacon of Worship and worked for the chaplain's office. There were three deacons at that time who all had different responsibilities.  Mine at the time was to help lead and plan worship on Sunday Mornings and lead a Tuesday night Bible study.  My college years were really formative for me in the faith.  Not that I didn't learn much in Sunday School and confirmation, but when I went through they were using the same materials they used 30 years ago. For me it was really exciting to be able to question my faith, challenge it, and talk about it in an open with others who were encountering the same thing. 

I have been blessed that throughout my seminary journey I have been supported.  It is humbling to know that so many people have walked this road with me.  My home congregation is not in the best financial shape, but they do have people who donate to a fund twice a year and that money really goes to help by books and stuff like that.  Around the holidays the choir places a can on the piano that says "Kelsey's Can" and people throw some of their spare change in over the weeks.  I also received a small amount from Zion Lutheran in Manheim.  They have a special benevolence fund that is for a seminary student in the synod.  My tuition is covered in full by the ELCA since I am a full Fund for Leader Recipient.  I am truly honored and blessed to have been given the award by the ELCA because it reminds me that as I am learning and pursuing my education, it is not just for me, but for the future of the church.  It helps give me incentive to continue to want to do my best. 

Cris: Can you tell us a little about your seminary experience? What surprised you? Challenged you? Favorite class and why?

Kelsey: I think of the biggest things that surprised me was that I was expecting people to be similar to me, or have taken similar paths to seminary such as I did.  I did not know that going right from college to seminary wasn't really the norm. It was at one time, but not anymore.  So it was surprising to me to walk into my first class and be in a room of people who came from a variety of backgrounds, and a variety of ages.  Everyone's different perspectives and experiences are brought into each class session, and we learn from each other in that way.  I guess I was not anticipating my leadership and my learning to be shaped so much by those around me, but looking back on it, it was those people that I was in class with all the time, and the professors who shaped who I am as future leader of the church. 

This brings me to my next point, on what was challenging for me. I had been affirmed in my call since I was young, and I knew seminary was where God was calling me next out of college, and even though I was a good student I still questioned my gifts. I compared myself a lot to my classmates, which sometimes is okay because it helps one to do better, but for me it wasn't helpful because I questioned my own strengths and abilities.  This was something that through time and experience I learned to overcome.  I have learned to look at people's gifts and lift them up because they are different than mine.  I think as seminarians being in a somewhat competitive environment we all go through this to an extent and a lot of us work through it during Clinical Pastoral Education, or on internship. 

I have had many favorite classes in seminary, but if I had to pick just one I would say that it was my thematics class Salvation: Salvations.  This class explored the Christian understanding of salvation, in comparison with some of the major and minor world religions.  This class challenged me in a good way to try and think theologically about what it means to be a Christian in a pluralistic society.  For my final project I did a curriculum that explored music and how music plays a role in expressing the understanding of salvation in Christianity, Judaism, and Islam.  

Cris: That’s an interesting point you make about class demographics. It seems to keeps sliding back and forth. I was “second career” (although my first career as stay-at-home-dad wasn’t an official career) and about half my class was as well. It seemed to be shifting back to a “younger crowd” in the classes that followed us. I hope it continues to be a diverse group of students because we all have gifts to bring to the conversation and vocation.

Do you think the “competitive environment,” which some moved past better than others in my experience, is involved in some of the struggles we are having as a greater church? In other words, we need to be more cooperative and collaborative if we’re going to succeed (in my humble opinion). Is the seminary process helping us see that and live into it? As you move from seminary into vocation, what is your perspective on the road ahead for the ELCA, in particular, and the church in general?

Kelsey: From what I understand the average age of Seminary is in the mid to low 30s but that is the least represented age group on campus so it makes it interesting. I have been working in the admissions office since I came back from internship and the way it is looking like for Gettysburg's campus of what is to become ULS those different demographics will stay. 

Yes I definitely think it is within the nature of the church to be competitive with one another especially when so many are just struggling to survive (which is an interesting metaphor for some in Seminary who are doing the same thing). I think the church has put up a facade for so long that we have forgotten what it means to be real with one other. We are afraid to be vulnerable and so we put a mask over everything.  Church is supposed to be that place in society that you can go to be authentically you, yet (from my experience growing up) it was the place you needed to seem perfect so that others didn't judge you.

I think that carries into Seminary and how we act as seminarians. When I stopped trying to be what I thought others wanted me to be, “holier than thou,” and just trusted myself it made a huge difference. I want to be able to be comfortable with who I am in ministry and be human so that those in my church can be as human as they need to be. Once we can get over ourselves I think that is when collaboration will really start taking shape and we can build up and edify one another. I think the ELCA in the future as a real great opportunity for partnership in many aspects of the word. One thing I am excited about is ecumenical partnerships.  We aren't the only mainline protestants who are struggling and I am excited to see where our ecumenical partnerships lead. My apologies for rambling, but that is how I feel about it.  

Cris: What is next for you? Assuming you’re in the regular assignment process, what kind of emotion does it carry as you think about “wrapping up” your education and moving out into a parish? What do you think will be some of your challenges and opportunities as you continue your leadership journey?

Kelsey: My husband and I will be entering the assignment process in February.  While we did not simply check the box “open to all,” we are open to going a lot of different places across the United States. [candidates for ordained ministry consider carefully where they think God is calling them to serve and provide that information to the ELCA leadership that assigns candidates to regions and synods] If I had to pick my ideal location it would be a place similar to Lincoln, NE.  What I mean by that is a small, yet growing city, passionate about solving the problems of poverty and injustice within the community.  As far as a kind of congregation, I am really open to all different kinds, for me it is about the people, and I want to guide and lead people who are passionate about sharing and living out the Gospel.  I don't know what I am capable of yet, because I have only had my internship experience, but I am trusting the Spirit in this process.  

I have many emotions when thinking about the end of my time in seminary.  I think prior to internship the thought of going out on my own would have been more terrifying than exciting. But now, having had that experience, I know that I am ready.  I know there will be challenges, no congregation is perfect, but looking back I know that I have been well prepared to go out and serve God's people. A challenge that I know I will face when beginning my first call, wherever it may be, is trusting myself.  I am the type of person who second guesses, even if I think I am making the right decision.  So it will be really important for me to trust in my training, and trust in the gifts that God has given me.  I am excited to meet new people and begin ministry.  

As the church is always reforming I am looking forward to being part of that process.  I think we are going to see more opportunities for connecting with our greater communities rather than being so focused within the walls of our own buildings.  There are many ways that we can do church together, and receive God's grace and mercy, and I am looking forward to exploring those many possibilities.

We pray for Kelsey, her husband, and all her classmates as they continue on the path to ministry within the church. You can learn more about the seminary by speaking with Pastor Cris or going to www.ltsg.edu or www.newschooloftheology.info.  

Thankfulness and Opportunity

I do not cease to give thanks for you as I remember you in my prayers. I pray that the God of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of glory, may give you a spirit of wisdom and revelation as you come to know him, so that, with the eyes of your heart enlightened, you may know what is the hope to which he has called you, what are the riches of his glorious inheritance among the saints, and what is the immeasurable greatness of his power for us who believe, according to the working of his great power. (Ephesians 1:16-19)

As I was reading that quote from Ephesians, I kept trying to stop sooner. But it just goes on and on saying important words to us as we continue this journey together. As we approach this month of Thanksgiving, I offer sincere thanks to all of you who are part of our community. Together we continue to seek God’s direction for how we will be faithful to our faithful God.

Remaining faithful to God doesn’t mean we remain static. As the world changes around us, we have to change to meet new challenges and opportunities (emphasis on opportunities). The greatness of God’s power will be at work as together we seek a way forward. And I will continue to give thanks for you as you join the conversation about how we do that.

In other words, change is coming. I’m not saying we’re going to become completely different from what we have been, but we have to adapt so we can continue to serve and witness to God’s love. The hardest part of change is not the change itself, but the anxiety over understanding the what and why. I would encourage you to ask when you don’t understand something that is happening.

I have no interest in upsetting the apple cart just for the chaos that it can cause. But there are some ways we can do better to fulfill God’s mission in this place - or even understanding what that mission is. So we will continue to embrace what God is doing to make things new in our work. Like...a different schedule for Advent.

Together we’ll enjoy the riches of God’s glorious inheritance and experience God’s power.

Continuing what I've learned

But as for you, continue in what you have learned and firmly believed, knowing from whom you learned it, and how from childhood you have known the sacred writings that are able to instruct you for salvation through faith in Christ Jesus. (2 Timothy 3:14-15)

This part of 2 Timothy is filled with admonishment and exhortation. The author is encouraging a young disciple (whose actual identity is probably less important than the words being shared) in life with God. It is a message that bears no small amount of law as it speaks to create right behavior and good works.

Notable in this section is where this encouragement begins. "But as for you" he begins. In contrast to those who are wicked (who are described previously in the letter, the receiver is given direction. And it's important to see where that encouragement starts. "But as for you..." keep on keepin' on. Continue in what you already know. Keep doing what you have learned since you were a child. And remember who taught you to do it. You have a heritage of faith on which to draw and depend, you simply have to do it.

It makes me think of those who have been a part of my journey of faith - and there are many:

• My grandfather, who sat with us every Sunday in church and was an example of quiet but steady faith.
• My mother, who taught me to recognize the brokenness that we live through and continue to seek God anyway.
• My father, who shows me how we can continue to grow at any point in our lives.
• My wife, who makes me remember that God is God, and I am not. And my kids who reinforce the point. :-) 
• My seminary professors, mentors, colleagues...

The list goes on and on. So many people have shared their faith with me in countless variations and styles. I can put all their words and actions up on a ledger against my own and see where I have failed to live up to what they expected of me. And I can see the ways we have all failed to live up to what God expects of us.

And then I remember the heart of what they've shared with me all these years isn't that I'm being judged for how I have failed. I have been, and always will be, offered the gift of unconditional grace. No matter how many times I mess it up and don't do it the right way, I can turn back to God and hear words of forgiveness - for me. Over and over again. Which is good. I need that.

Who is it that has taught you? Feel free to comment below, or simply use that question as a devotional theme this week. Give thanks to God for those teachers. Give thanks to God for what you have learned. Give thanks to God for the opportunity we are given to rise daily from the waters of baptism feeling clean and forgiven. 

Maybe it's time to take those words and promises we know, and tell them to a new generation. So they too can know the love that God has for us...always.

Thankful hearts and voices raise...

Hallelujah! I will give thanks to the Lord with my whole heart, in the assembly of the upright, in the congregation. Great are your works, O Lord, pondered by all who delight in them. (Psalm 111:1-2)

 Sometimes it's really hard to be thankful, and sometimes you can't help but sing and shout words of thanks for all that God has done. Life has a way of pushing us one way or the other. That's a rhythm we learn to accept. 

This week I am thankful for the Wednesday morning conversations we have been having about the Psalms and how they connect with our lives today. This ancient collection of poems and liturgical songs provides a window into our relationship with God as they express the ups and downs of life in ancient Israel, which really isn't that different than our own. The enemies and challenges carried different names and levels of complexity, but life has always been challenging on this side of Eden. 

The psalms describe God's work. They describe our need for God's care and concern to be present in our day to day struggles. They describe our anger when we feel abandoned and betrayed. They give voice to our feelings of brokenness and pain as we struggle to find a way through a world of hate and anger.

It's easy to get bogged down in the abandonment and betrayal; the anger and hate. It's easy to become jaded and perpetually focused on the negative realities we encounter so often. Psalm 111, quoted above, gives us another choice. We can come together in an "assembly of the upright." We can join our voices together in a song from our heart that expresses what we sometimes forget to keep in the center of our lives: that the works of God are great. 

Even if we don't know exactly how God is going to act or if God is going to work to change a current reality, we have the ability to fall back on the grace-filled reality that we are loved - unconditionally, without question, forever and always - loved by God. If for no other reason than that (and there are times when there might seem like no other reason), we can give thanks to God for that promise. 

Today I'll choose to say, "Hallelujah. Thank you." And the mere act of voicing it will move me beyond whatever I'm facing. Thanks be to God.

JESUS MAFA. Healing of the ten lepers, from Art in the Christian Tradition, a project of the Vanderbilt Divinity Library, Nashville, TN. http://diglib.library.vanderbilt.edu/act-imagelink.pl?RC=48295 [retrieved October 5, 2016].

Power and Cowardice

"For this reason I remind you to rekindle the gift of God that is within you through the laying on of my hands; for God did not give us a spirit of cowardice, but rather a spirit of power and of love and of self-discipline. (2 Timothy 1:6-7 NRSV)

What does a "spirit of power" mean for a Christian in today's world? As a world community we don't hold to a common understanding of power. Depending on your personal experiences and worldview, you may find comfort in the status quo of our current state of affairs...especially if you're a politician. For those who have been excluded from the benefits of a First World economy and cultural system, you may wish for a radically different way of seeing power exercised.

And no one wants to be a coward. It can lead to a court martial in the military. It can lead to disdain from co-workers and friends. No one likes someone who is cowardly. But who decides what is cowardly and what is powerful? Martin Luther King, Jr. is widely believed to have been a powerful influence on this country; an influence and ideal we are still trying to understand and enact. Some might call him cowardly for his belief in peaceful civil disobedience. 

Some of the seemingly most powerful people in the world are acting out of cowardice, afraid that if they were honest or vulnerable they would lose everything that mattered to them. They act the part of power, but are truly afraid. Their fear keeps us continuously in conflict and keeps peace in the realm of wish and hope. 

The Darkness at the Crucifixion, Gustave Doré

What does a "spirit of power" look like for us who are faithful Christians in today's world? It looks, metaphorically, the same as it did in the first century. It looks like a supremely powerful individual giving up that power to hang on a cross. The power that comes through love and self-discipline is one that gives away that power for someone else. 

I can think of nothing more cowardly than being a blustering bully looking only to gain more and more power, or someone who routinely lies and deceives for personal gain. And nothing less cowardly than becoming weak and powerless for the sake of the world. 

Holding on for the Plunge

Take a look at this picture. What do you see? You might focus on the intent stare on Owen's face as he tries to figure out what is happening and why his head is wet. You might see a hand ready to go back into the water to continue to enact the promise of God. You might see the witness of a sponsor - who remains in the background as we only see his shirt and arm.

You might see that, and indeed those are all elements of this occasion. I see two little, balled, baby fists; holding on for dear life. 

This was my first baptism as the pastor of Trinity Evangelical Lutheran Church. It happened outside of our ordinary worship services out of necessity, but God was still very present. It was a holy moment, as all baptisms are, and it is always a moment of great joy for me as a pastor to be a part of these moments of profound unqualified grace.

But the more I look at this picture, the more I am entranced by Owen's hands. He was a bit squirmy, not really comfortable with me holding him. Or maybe he just wanted to see what was happening. I didn't realize at the time that he was holding onto my sleeve so tightly. I knew his father's arm was nearby, but I couldn't see that he was also holding onto an extended finger.

What an incredibly important image for us to remember. God is acting in the water through the promise of the Word. God is present in the witness of the community. And God is present, in the support that comes from both the community (which I represent) and a parent. As Owen holds on to these two realities, he's ready for the plunge. He's ready for the cleansing water of God; as much as any of us are ready.

He held on. He was washed. He continues to hold on. And now our job is to keep him plunging daily into and out of the washing water of God's promise. 

Journeying with Jesus

Soon afterwards he went on through cities and villages, proclaiming and bringing the good news of the kingdom of God. The twelve were with him, as well as some women who had been cured of evil spirits and infirmities: Mary, called Magdalene, from whom seven demons had gone out, and Joanna, the wife of Herod's steward Chuza, and Susanna, and many others, who provided for them out of their resources. (Luke 8:1-3 NRSV)

This is the end of the Gospel reading for this coming Sunday. It follows the story of a woman expressing her love and thankfulness to Jesus by washing and anointing his feet. The story it follows is one of forgiveness, a story that expresses how deeply God’s forgiveness can be part of our lives. That forgiveness is connected, through the first part of this passage, to what Jesus was all about. Jesus was preaching and bringing the good news of the kingdom of God; and that kingdom is one of forgiveness.

This passage goes on to clarify that Jesus didn’t do this proclamation on his own. It wasn’t “him against the world” as he proclaimed God’s kingdom. True, it was all about him – in that he is the Son of God who creates the kingdom by his existence in the world. But the proclamation of the kingdom is never done alone. It is never done outside of a community. The disciples were with him, and some women were with him. Mary Magdalene (free of demons and not explicitly the woman just identified as a prostitute), Joanna, Susanna, and many others (many other women or maybe just many others which probably would have included other women) are traveling with Jesus, providing the resources necessary for the proclamation.

I didn’t start out thinking this was a stewardship message, but it turns out it is. And I’m not talking just about money. We have incredible resources among and within us to share in the proclamation of the kingdom. Each of us has gifts that we can bring to ministry. They may not feel like the right gifts, but they are God-given and God can use them for the good of the kingdom. Think about what your gifts are. Think about how you can provide for the proclamation as did those who followed Jesus. Think about what God is calling you to do to proclaim the kingdom today.